Vertigo

Wow!! My chemo meds hit me hard yesterday. I had a super bad case of vertigo. I woke up at 3:00 am to give McCabe a binki and collapsed. Fortunately Tim was able to help me back in bed and comfort the little one. The vertigo was still bad 4 1/2 hours later when it came time to wake up. I went downstairs and sat on the couch and dry heaved until bile came forth. Of course Tim and my 2 kids were at the kitchen table watching. I felt awful because I couldn't move and yet I wanted to laugh because Jacinda kept saying "excuse you mom." She is at the stage where inappropriate body noises need to come with an "excuse me." Needless to say I slept until noon and then finally was able to face the day.

Today has been good. I have been taking it slow. I even straightened up the kitchen. I've been able to interact with my kids, but it is going to take a little more effort to get me in the snow. Jacinda loves to play outside and throw snowballs. Afterwards she warms up in a nice bath.

Thursday we leave for California. I am very excited for Disneyland. Hopefully I will at least have a few rides before spending the rest of the time sitting on the park benches. It is going to be great!!

Questions on How to Help

Many people have been literally angels toward my family by preparing meals, making beautiful comfort quilts, baby sitting (all three of my kids), providing favorite movie ideas, praying and sending as many good vibes as they can. Those acts of love are really needed and appreciated in this challenging time. In addition there are those who have asked how they might provide financial assistance toward the medical expenses etc. The simplest way to make a donation is via a medical expense account that has been established at Bank of America. All donations are strictly earmarked for the numerous doctor co-pays, several prescription medicines, and any other costs related to being cured. This is by no means a solicitation for money, but it is appreciated. It is merely information that people have requested. To make a donation, the bank says that the following account number is needed: 35254424 and simply let them that it is for Sasha Fisher. Also in the event that donations exceed the cost of treatment; any remaining funds will be ‘Passed Forward’ to assist other individuals in their fight against cancer. We love you and can never express how your time, prayers, service, donations, conversations have changed our eternal course.

A Brown Wig

Here is another wig picture. Notice the picture on your left is my real curly hair and the straight brown hair on your right is the wig. What do you think? Do I look much better as a brunette? Oh by the way, chemo went great today. I have not thrown up or gotten really sick :)

It's Chemo Time

I am sitting in a nice plush green recliner waiting for my blood work results. The nurse is walking over to me with saline and anti-nausea meds. I am now hooked up with junk running through my port. I am really proud that I did not pass out earlier when the nurse was putting the needle in my port. I am really feeling tough (look out world!!).

This is a monumental day. I will get a glimpse of how the chemo will affect me and how my state of being will be. I want to take a moment to thank all of you for the meals and the wonderful comments you have posted. I have some more wig pictures to show, but that will happen once I get home.

The Port-catheter

I got my port today. I was very nervous. I asked for a local anesthetic so just the immediate area would be numb, but I guess all my thrashing and movement bumped my anesthetic to general. (I don't remember moving at all but the doctor said I was.) The doctor tried putting the port on my left side, but could not get it positioned correctly, so he put it in the right side just under the collar bone. (This sounds all too familiar with trying to draw my blood, I get poked 2 or 3 times before someone gets it right.) I am doing great. I am bruised on both sides of my chest. I am handling this recovery well. I have not thrown up and I have been able to eat real foods not just soups and liquids. I thank you all for your prayers and words of encouragement. Your prayers are being answered and giving me tons of strength.

It's Happening

Well there has been a change of plans. My doctor wants to start treatment immediately. I get my port in tomorrow (1/22/08) so that my veins will be readily accessible for meds. ( I sure get tired of being poked 3 times before a vein is found.) My first treatment is Thursday 1/24/08. I know I said I wanted to get chemo started as soon as possible, but now I am really scared and sad. I don't want to have any pain. I don't want this to be a reality. I guess I am starting to become a bit weak. I am trying so hard to focus on my support system but it is so hard. No doubt this is the most challenging trial in my life thus far.

Stage and Treatment

After talking to the doctor today I am very optimistic about treating my cancer. I am a stage 2A. Dr. Nichols (who treated the famous cyclist Lance Armstrong) said that I have a very high chance of being cured (yeah!!). I start chemo Jan 28th. I will go once every two weeks for 4 months. I am very excited to start and get this done.

It's Shocking

Yes it is shocking and fun. It seems weird at first, but after a while I get used to it and think, yeah I could pass as a blond.

There are some more wig before and after pictures in the near future.

Week of Doctor Visits

So if any of you can avoid cancer...do it, that is my advice for today. The week of Jan. 14th is filled with exciting visits to the doctors. I have a PET scan Wednesday, another oncologist visit Thursday (for a 2nd opinion), and then I meet with the radiation doctor on Friday. I have some good news, the bone marrow biopsy showed no signs of cancer. (YEAH!!) However, I am a little frustrated with how long it is taking to get the treatments started. I figure the sooner I get the chemo, the sooner the cancer will be gone. Oh yes, let's not forget, the sooner the chemo is started the sooner I can wear my new wigs. I have taken some of your advice. I ordered a blond, brunette, and an auburn wig. As soon as they arrive, I will post a picture or two with my new hairdo.

As this idea of having cancer becomes more of a reality I become more uneasy. I think this is the first time in my life I have been scared of losing weight. It is a time in my life where I become incredibly dependent on others. I will be limited in my abilities of serving others and will be required to learn about becoming a gracious receiver.

I know this is not a death sentence. I am thankful that Hodgkin's has a very high cure rate. However, I wish that it was not me. I thank all of you for your comments and e-mails. I am definitely going to check out some of the suggested movies. That's it for now.

Tuesday's Results

So I went to the Oncologist today and asked him a ton of questions like what stage is my cancer, what are the treatment cycles, when do I start treatment, etc. He did a few strength tests to see where and the intensity of the pain. Then he told me that I need a PET scan and a bone marrow biopsy before he could answer my questions. I had the bone marrow biopsy today and I am very bruised and wearing 2 fabulously huge ban-aids on my rear-end. The PET scan will be sometime early next week. I meet with the radiation doctor on Jan 18th.

The good news is that I am able to go to Disneyland. We had bought our tickets the day before all this craziness came about. The doctor says I might have a treatment before I leave or start them right after I get home.

I am bracing myself for the hair loss since it is bound to happen. I have bought a wig that resembles my current color. When I get it, I will post a picture with my new hairdo. However, I am half tempted to buy a blonde one just for the fun of it....any comments about that? A few of you have asked what you can do or how you can help. If you have a moment, make a list of funny movies. If I am going to be sick and in bed, I might as well watch a good flick.

Many Thanks

I just want to take a moment to thank you all for the thoughts, prayers, words of encouragement and comments (I love reading them).

At a time like these, I need all the strength I can get. It's funny how you go through life thinking "I'm a strong person, I can do this by myself," and then you get smacked in the face with something somewhat serious and life changing. It is then when you take a moment to truly thank God for all that you have and start to appreciate the simpilist things in life. You become more aware of the people that really care and even more grateful for the friendships created.

Just in case it has been a while since seeing my family, I am posting some pictures of my kids, McCabe 11 months and Jacinda 3 years and that really handsome guy is my husband Tim. It is amazing how much they make life worth living.

The Diagnosis

December 26, 2007 I had a biopsy on the back of my tongue and at the base of the left side of my neck. We were hoping for a good outcome. Unfortunately, the diagnosis wasHodgkins Lymphoma. I meet with the Oncologist this Tuesday 1/8/08. I don't know the stage or advancement of the cancer. I do know that the CT scan revealed abnormal lymph nodes in the chest and neck regions. I have attached a picture of my scar.