Sunday, March 30, 2008

This past weekend was good. Tim and I went to Seattle while the kids stayed at uncle Doug's house. We had a great time shopping and eating at different places. We met a very nice couple while eating dinner at Lola's. We ended up talking to them (Mary and Bob) for about 2 hours. It was amazing how much we thought alike even though they were 30 to 40 years our senior. I had minimal chemo side effects during the weekend. The only time I hurt was after over eating at the cheese cake factory (but the food was sooo good it was worth it).

My next chemo is Wednesday, April 2nd. After this treatment I have 2 more to go (yeah!!). I have enjoyed reading all of your suggestions and comments for uplifting my spirits. There were lots of good ideas that I am using.

I was able to attend church today. I enjoyed seeing my friends and having them ask how I was doing. My ward takes very good care of me and my family. I can never thank them enough however, I will always be grateful for their time and compassion spent on me.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Nothing too much is happening. We went to the circus last night. It was a fun small town circus. I liked watching the elephants, the clowns, and the dancing poodles. Kids 12 and under got in free but don't worry, the circus recovered their money nicely because parents end up paying for elephant rides, pony rides, sno-cones, etc... (Now there is some smart marketing!)

Amy, my sister-in-law is with me this week. It is nice to have her here because I can go to sleep at moments notice and the kids will be watched. I still have the annoying stomach cramping and nauseating feelings. These side-effects make it very hard to have the last 3 treatments. I get to a point where I need encouragement. I am tired of feeling the pain and think it would be easier just to give up. But then I think about all the things I have worth living for. At times it is hard to find that fine balance. I would love to hear from all you about what you do for motivation and encouragement. If you have a moment, please enlighten me. Thanks!!

Thursday, March 20,2008

I got the PET scan results and they are awesome. To quote the doctor, “all the lights and illuminations previously seen are not there.” That means the chemo is working (I guess it is worth going through this ghastly trauma. Believe me it has gotten harder. I can no longer tolerate the smell of alcohol. I need to cover my nose with a tissue or else I will start to dry heave the moment the aroma hits my nose. I still have 3 treatments and then a CT scan. At that time, the doctor will review the scan results and decide about the need of radiation. So far things are going so much in my favor I hope I don’t need radiation.

I have been very blessed. Bonnie Dimond and her son stayed and helped out with my recovery last week. I enjoyed her kindness and cooking. For the first time I had a massage at 3:30 am. It was nice and helped me to fall asleep.

I saw some of you at stake conference and you told me how you are putting my name in the temple and praying for me. I feel all your prayers because it can get pretty depressing going through this but if I take a moment and remember how much love and support is coming my was along with the reflection on the scripture “be still and know I am God.” It keeps my mind better in focus.

P.S. I would like to thank all those who have donated to the medical expense account. It is coming in useful and much needed. Those unsuspecting hospital visits are 3 ½ times my normal co-pay. If you would still like to donate, it is account is at Bank of America and the account number is 35254424

Wednesday March 12, 2008

So I am feeling better, however, I still have a few days of stomach pain (side effect of chemo...surprise!!). This pain keeps me up until early in the morning. Last night I did not go to sleep until 3:30 a.m. It gets very frustrating having super long days. When I don’t get a lot of sleep (or get interrupted in my sleep) I am mega cranky. The doctor prescribes me vicadin, but that makes me feel awful. So I do everything possible to relax before popping a pill.

McCabe was Mr. Grumpers this week. He had a double ear infection, however, once on anti-biotics he has returned to his cheery old self. Jacinda has been very helpful. She has taken on the 2nd mommy role. She will get diapers for me and help feed McCabe. It is really great except when it comes to disciplining. Then she becomes ugly with yelling.

My PET scan is scheduled for Monday March 17th and then my next treatment is the 19th so stay posted because the results will be known Wednesday.

March 9, 2008

Today is Tim's birthday. It is a beautiful day to celebrate. The sun is shining. I feel fine (just a small touch of nauseau). I hit the half way mark with my chemo treatments. I get a PET scan next week and that will naswer a lot of questions. I don't have much to say because I am in a very somber mood. I will have to write later.

Good Day

I enjoyed this Sunday. For the first time since my last chemo treatment I have no pain. Each treatment leaves me with horrible side effects. This time it was the terrible stomach cramping. The doctor thinks it's heartburn, but the prilosec does not work. I just let time heal the body. Some of the chemo meds are doing crazy things to my body. I am getting liver spot looking marks on my fingers and face. This is due to the bleomycin. It makes me look 10 years older. I also have long hard nails. I don't know what is causing this but it sure takes a lot to break one (I am loving this side-effect). My hair is getting very thin. It is really neat to look at a strand of hair. When analyzing a strand I can see that the 1/3 of the strand closest to my scalp is a lot thinner than the other 2/3. Now that is something you don't see everyday.

My next treatment is Wednesday March 5th. This will be my half way mark, only 4 more treatments of chemo. I am so hoping that I don't need radiation but I will see what happens. Hopefully I will have good PET scan results.

The family is doing great. Tim has been a real trooper and support. He even has a good sense of humor. I just found out that he told Mimi (my sister when she was helping 2 weeks ago) that he "married his mother-in-law" because I am doing a good job of reflecting my mom during her last few years of life--being optimistic and wearing sweats. I got a good laugh out of his comment. That's about it for now. Lots of love to all.