Today I
cleaned up many messes made by the kids.
For once I was not angry or frustrated.
My perspective has been changed.
I just experienced the worst day of my life yesterday. We were swimming at the Somerset pool. I was visiting with nana and holding
Teagan. Tim and the kids got out to rest
in the sun and eat some grapes. They
were out of the water for a few minutes when Tim said, “there are Xadia’s
floaties, where is Xadia?” There in the
pool was her floating body. Tim jumped
in and pulled her out. Her eyes were
rolled back. Her lips and fingers and
toes were blue. She was
unresponsive. Immediately Tim performed
CPR. I said a prayer in my heart
pleading with Heavenly Father that Xadia will live and not have any defects
from lack of oxygen. After about 30
seconds of CPR, she started coughing up water and crying. It was a huge sigh of relief. But then she wanted to fall asleep. We did all that we could to keep her
awake. The paramedics came and took her and
Tim to primary children’s hospital. I
sat in a pool side chair crying. I felt
like the worst mother ever. It never
should have gotten to the point where Xaida was unconscious. I failed at protecting and caring for my
daughter. Deb (nana Hefner) tried
comforting me. A woman from the pool
said she would put Xadia’s name in the temple.
I felt a little better. I was
relying heavily upon God for support. I
wanted my little girl to be ok and to have a happy and full life. I was not ready to bury her. As I drove Deb and the rest of the kids to
Deb’s house Jacinda asked if we could say a prayer. I am so grateful that a 7-year-old knows the
power of prayer and that God does listen.
I said, “yes, I would love to say it.” So in front of nana’s yard I said
a prayer. As soon as it ended McCabe
said, “mom, stop crying.” Oh to have the
faith or the ignorance of a 5-year-old would be bliss but I was too overwhelmed
with the situation. I gave everyone a
kiss and headed home to get some clothes and then to the hospital.
As I was driving down 400 North, I was singing, “I Am
a Child of God.” I got really chocked up with the part of “lead me, guide me,
walk beside me, help me find the way.”
Again I said a prayer and I had a feeling that Xadia was going to be
alright. However, I had issues with my
parenting. Again, I attacked myself for
lack of supervision. At the hospital,
Xadia was watching Dora the Explorer in a big hospital bed. The doctor said her lactic acid level was
above 4 which meant there was some serious activity going on. He wanted to keep her overnight to make sure
that she did not develop pneumonia because there was some water in her lungs.
Tim had given her 2 priesthood blessings in the
ambulance. I knew the power of the
priesthood was in effect and again felt peace and comfort. I spent the night with Xadia. I slept next to her. It was comforting to watch her breathe, to
feel her warmth, and to feel her occasional twitching. By the time morning arrived, she was back to
her feisty self, giving orders and wanting things her way. The family came and we ate breakfast in the
cafeteria. The kids had donuts, eggs,
bacon, and ice cream (I know that will not happen again). As we walked out of the hospital, there was a
fountain falling into a pond. I was
worried that Xadia would be traumatized by water, but she just smiled and said,
“water,” in a very happy voice. On the
way home, Xadia was talking and being her cute self.
I am so grateful for the powers of Heaven. If for one moment you don’t think that the
Lord is not involved in every detail of your life, you are sorely
mistaken. He lives and loves us. If we are faithful he blesses us with His
tender mercies. I cannot thank God
enough for all that he does for me. I am
forever an indebted servant.
